Why "71º & Sunny?"

I consider 71º to be the perfect temperature. Not too cold and not too hot. I also love perfect sunny days. The vast majority of days are not 71º & Sunny and yet, all days were created by God's hand and they are still gifts, even if they don't fit my ridiculous definition of perfection. My struggle with OCD has at times imprisoned me in an impossible attempt to achieve perfection. I'm now learning to love all kinds of days that don't even come close to 71º & Sunny.

Please leave me a comment below. I really want to know what you are thinking!

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Their Feelings Aren't Facts Either

My therapist said something to me yesterday that literally blew my mind. Seriously. It's so simple, and yet, it was something I never, ever thought about before. Let me back up first . . .

One of the things that OCD sufferers do all the time, is confuse feelings with facts. We think that if we feel something, then it must be true. If I feel like a loser, I must be a loser. If I feel like I'm contaminated, then I must be contaminated. When I sought ERP therapy years ago, my psychologist spent a lot of time trying to get me to understand that just because I felt something, it didn't mean that it was a factual truth.

I struggle a lot with what other people think of me. Much of my OCD is actually fueled by what I fear are others' perceptions about me. At the core of it, I fear that they will find me unloveable. Yesterday, my therapist told me, "Just because someone else feels or thinks something about you, it doesn't make it a factual truth." Wait, what??? So even if someone else thinks I'm a loser, that doesn't actually make me a loser? Even if someone else thinks I'm a "bad" Christian, that doesn't mean it is truth? If my feelings are often not based on facts, why do I assume that other people's feelings are any more reliable than my own? This might seem so obvious to you, but to me, it is profound. I'm not so foolish as to think that I still won't ever worry about what others think, but I can tell you this, I'm going to start looking at it differently. There's only one Person whose thoughts about me are always based on factual truth. And hey, I have a sneaking suspicion He loves me. And you. ; )

6 comments:

  1. Monique, oh, I can relate...big time!!! Even though I don't struggle with OCD I can still relate to this, because I am a HSP (highly sensitive person). Many times I have feelings and those feelings are not always true! Great post, dear friend...much love and hugs to you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Linda. So sorry it has taken me so long to respond. The last few months have been pretty rough, to be honest, but I'm hoping that things are turning around. I can always count on you for sweet support. Thank you friend.

      Delete
  2. This is so, so good Monique. I struggle with this too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Anna! I think about you often and hope that you are doing well.

      Delete
  3. Hi Monique! I need to hear this all the time! My husband tries to encourage me to remember it but it's so hard! I love your heading btw. When I was in high school, I was triggered by the color of the sky. If it wasn't the right color, I couldn't do certain things or felt that the day was essentially ruined.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Welcome, Destiny! You know, it's really amazing how anything can become a trigger for someone. At the end of the day, it's just that we keep looking for a signal that everything is alright in our world, and if we can't find it with 100% certainty (and who can?) we are unable to function. ERP is so good for fighting that. It's super hard, but it definitely works. Come back again!

      Delete