Dear OCD. My very old, unwanted friend. It seems like in some way or another, you've always been my painful companion. Even when you left me feeling so very, very alone, I really wasn't alone, was I? You have always been there. Telling me what to think, how to feel, what to do, and what to say. You had me in your grip for so long, that I came to know nothing else. You were a demanding taskmaster, insisting that I hand everything over to you, including my dignity and my peace of mind. You took nearly all I love away from me: my faith in God, my family, my friends, a productive existence, and almost my very life itself. There were times that I hated you with a level of hostility I did not realize I possessed.
Control. Of everything. Of me. That is what you wanted, and it is what you had. But no more. You see, I want to thank you. I sincerely do. Thank you for showing me what I am made of. Thank you for forcing me to dig deep within myself to find strength that I was never before aware of. Thank you for bringing me to my knees, so that I had no choice but to lean on my Heavenly Father. Thank you for making me vulnerable, because I could then finally be vulnerable with others. Thank you for giving me such excruciating pain that I find it much easier to relate to the suffering of those around me. Thank you for incredible agony, so gut wrenching and stomach twisting, that these days, a simple, lovely, sunny day is all it takes to bring me joy. Thank you for showing me a depth of evil here on Earth that was so intense, and palpable, and overwhelming, that today, it takes no effort for me to recognize what is truly good.
OCD, you meant it for evil. My Heavenly Father uses it for good.