Since my last post, I've given a lot of thought to the whole idea of acceptance. In fact, it's been going round and round my mind. I started to think about the definitition of acceptance. It sounds great to say, "Oh, sure - I accept my illness." But then, I was wondering, what exactly is acceptance? There are probably a lot of dictionary and textbook answers for it, but for me, acceptance equals agreement with reality. Meaning, I acknowledge the truth of my situation.
Acceptance doesn't mean that I give up, and that I think it may never improve. But I don't waste my mental energies refusing to see what is right before me, right now, at this very moment. It means that I don't live in the past when maybe things were better, and I don't live in the future where I desperately hope that everything will be perfect. Because, let's face it, things in the past may not have really been all that great, and there is nothing that guarantees that the future will be perfect. It's so easy to idealize the past or wax poetic about the future, because it's a great distraction for (or way to avoid) my present circumstances. Oh, and that pesky little thing called uncertainty? Oh yes, it certainly makes itself known when I truthfully accept what is going on here and now. Acceptance guarantees that I have to deal with the uncertainty.
So, what this means for me, is that I realistically acknowledge that today, I have a certain level of OCD, GAD, CSP, and depression. I should fight all of these things with as much effort as I can muster, but in the meantime, they are there and they can't stop me from pursuing what is important in life at this very moment. Yep, true acceptance. Ah, sweet freedom and peace for today!
What does acceptance look like for you and your circumstances?