Why "71º & Sunny?"

I consider 71º to be the perfect temperature. Not too cold and not too hot. I also love perfect sunny days. The vast majority of days are not 71º & Sunny and yet, all days were created by God's hand and they are still gifts, even if they don't fit my ridiculous definition of perfection. My struggle with OCD has at times imprisoned me in an impossible attempt to achieve perfection. I'm now learning to love all kinds of days that don't even come close to 71º & Sunny.

Please leave me a comment below. I really want to know what you are thinking!

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Feeling Better, But Already Worrying About Christmas!

It looks like the iron and Vitamin D are kicking in. I'm still tired, but not nearly as totally exhausted as I had been feeling. I still don't have a lot of motivation to do things, although I think it's partly because I'm so busy with projects at church that I really don't have much energy left to do stuff at home. It's not like I really enjoy doing things at home anyway, so it's no big loss!

I was doing a little shopping today at The Christmas Tree Shop. They carry tons of products besides just Christmas items. They did, of course, also have a whole lot of Christmas decorations for sale. When I saw them, I started to get really overwhelmed about the thought of having to decorate the house (sounds like anticipatory anxiety, don't ya think?). All I kept thinking about was how tired I still am and how much work it would be to get the house together for the holidays. I wondered if maybe I could skip it this year. But then I started thinking about my adult child coming home to visit and I wondered if that would make me a bad mom to leave the house undecorated. Ugh, guilt. The only time I ever skipped decorations was the winter of Jim's horrible flare.

I manage to worry about some pretty stupid stuff, don't I? I decided that I was getting all worked up for no good reason. I don't really have to think about this for at least another month. In the meantime, I'm taking the supplements prescribed by my doctor. For all I know, I might be feeling tremendously better in a month. Or not. In either case, it doesn't matter. I'm choosing to deal with it when the time comes, and not a moment before it is necessary. I refuse to waste time worrying for nothing.

For so many years, I didn't realize that I had choices, even about things as minor as this. I was so locked up in cognitive distortions that I couldn't think outside of the very tiny box that was my mind.

10 comments:

  1. Hi Monique, since I have no family (am an only child, my both parents died when I was in my 20's, and I have no spouse or children,) I guess Christmas is not stressful for me. I have a small fabric tree (red and gold) that someone kindly made for me. It has little gold bells on it and makes a jingle sound if you shake it. This is all I bother to do as far as decorating goes. I enjoy time with good friends and go to their place for a great down home Christmas dinner, but I am grateful not to have stress over Christmas, as I have enough stress over so many things. Great post, as always, thank you so much for sharing.

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    1. Hey I am an only child too! When I was a kid, it was very rare to meet other only children. It's definitely a different way to grow up. Some of it is good, some not.

      I really dislike the stress over Christmas, because as a Christian, I'd much rather spend the time feeling peaceful, thinking about God's great gift, and hang out with friends and family in a casual way. Oh well.

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  2. Yes, it sounds like anticipatory anxiety, and I'm an expert in doing that. :-) But you're right to put the worry aside until the time comes to face whether or not to decorate, or how much to decorate. I have worried some about gift buying--seems like other bills come in as Christmas rolls around, and I worry about being able to buy Larry "enough." Which is really silly, because Larry is not demanding and is happy with any gift. I guess I need to put my worry aside too.

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    1. Oh I understand about wanting to buy your hubby something really nice. It's joyful to give gifts to people you love. Oh it's so true about the bills! In the city we live in, our property taxes are due in July, and in early December. Terrible timing. And our property taxes in NH are VERY high, so that makes the timing even worse.

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  3. "I refuse to waste time worrying for nothing." That sums it all up, Sunny. Good for you!

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  4. Well I'm going to keep worrying! Somebody's got to right?? ;)

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  5. How about having your adult child do the decorating?

    Actually, I don't know what I'll do this year myself. Putting up my paper tree on the wall sounds like a hassle... :) Then again, maybe I could find some plant and hang ornaments on it before I proceed to kill it by not watering it...

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    1. You know, Abigail, I NEVER even considered that! Seriously, my thinking is so limited, it baffles me. Great suggestion, thank you!

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