Why "71º & Sunny?"

I consider 71º to be the perfect temperature. Not too cold and not too hot. I also love perfect sunny days. The vast majority of days are not 71º & Sunny and yet, all days were created by God's hand and they are still gifts, even if they don't fit my ridiculous definition of perfection. My struggle with OCD has at times imprisoned me in an impossible attempt to achieve perfection. I'm now learning to love all kinds of days that don't even come close to 71º & Sunny.

Please leave me a comment below. I really want to know what you are thinking!

Saturday, May 4, 2013

And It Looks Just Like A Little Harmless Magazine

Ok, I admit it. I like to read celebrity gossip magazines. But don't tell anyone. I love the fancy dresses and jewelry, the "who's dating who," and the "she wore what?!" type of stuff.

I received my latest issue in the mail yesterday. I had to get some work done on my car, so I decided to bring the magazine with me to the dealership. I figured when I was done with it that I could leave it there for someone else to read later. It seemed less wasteful than just reading it once and then putting it in the recycling bin. Funny enough, even this act was an OCD trigger for me.

First, I always worry that something private of mine has found its way in between the pages. More than once, I have found that another piece of mail has slipped into magazine pages. So of course, before I passed the magazine on, I tore off my address label and flipped through it in its entirety just to double check that nothing was hiding in there. Ah, gotta love checking compulsions.

Second, and more frightening to me, was the possibility that the magazine might hurt someone. Yes, believe it or not, I do worry about that. Questions like, "What if my hands weren't clean enough when I touched it?" or "What if I have some kind of illness or disease?" go through my mind a lot. Even worse, I was eating soup while reading the magazine and I spilled some on the corner of several of the pages. I was really anxious that someone might have some type of food allergy and get an anaphylactic reaction if they touched the magazine. I had to talk myself out of that foolishness. Well, at least I think (hope!) it was OCD foolishness. So I dried the pages as best as I could, and tossed the magazine onto the dealership coffee table. Take that, OCD!

15 comments:

  1. I can't imagine the things that go through your mind. But the fact that you were able to leave the magazine there is a good thing.

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    1. Thanks Middle Child! Ugh. Sometimes I can't imagine the things that go through my mind either ha ha ha!

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  2. Great job! It was definitely OCD, but I do it, too. When I return books to the library, I'm always sure some embarrassing to do list is going to slip in there.

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    1. Well, good to know I'm not the only one. It's funny because I also worry about some kind of embarrassing or "bad" thing that I've written accidentally ending up in between the pages too. But the really weird thing is it's not like I'm ever writing anything bad or anything terrible, so what exactly AM I worried about? No idea.

      Thanks for your support, Ann!

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  3. Good job, Sunny! I understand your fears that somehow the magazine would hurt someone. I've had plenty of those thoughts. Weird, frustrating? Yes, but all too real when we're in the midst of them.

    It's great, too, that you took on this OCD exposure. You went after it. You planned to leave the magazine. Good for you!

    And I worry that I've left things in library books, too. But like you said in your comment to Ann, I don't write "bad" stuff anyway. So what am I afraid of?

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    1. Hey Tina! Sorry I didn't respond sooner. Crazy week, plus I spent the day in bed yesterday (all day!) with a nasty migraine. Ugh. Glad that's over.

      It's totally crazy, but I worry that I will accidentally write something "bad" and that the "bad" thing will somehow get misplaced and then I'll get in trouble, etc., etc. Crazy, since there is no "bad" thing written, but I guess that's OCD for ya. Ugh!!!

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  4. You sound just like me.... worrying about privacy, other mail, germs etc. that the magazine might hurt someone. Woa.... I have these same exact thoughts just when I let a friend or family member borrow a book or magazine from me.

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    1. Oh, yes, Elizabeth, I've had the same worries passing on a book as well. Very annoying.

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  5. We went to my sister-in-laws for Easter and she had a stack of probably 30 of those magazines next to the sofa, many were old ones I had never seen and she said she was going to get rid of them so I could take them home. I was so thrilled because I love to take them on road trips or just plant myself under a tree in my yard in the summer with an iced tea and browse through a magazine. I love relaxing like that.
    I have multiple forms of OCD but nothing related to harming someone..with the exception that I have worried I could contaminate someone. But then again, I am more worried that by contaminating them, they will re-contaminate me or my house. And I feel really awful about that then because I feel like I am really selfish thinking that way. Which leads me to believe I am a very inconsiderate bad person. I was thinking about that when I woke up this morning for some reason, how inside I feel like an awful, selfish person..talk about a great way to wake up in the morning. I think I need to get out for a walk and lighten up. LOL

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    1. The "Kris" comment was left by me, Krystal Lynn..sometimes my account switches over for some reason.

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    2. Hey Krystal Lynn! Glad you mentioned it was you. In another comment you left some time ago, I believe it just said "Kris" and I didn't even realize it was you!

      Oh, I'm so sorry you woke up like that Monday morning. I know how horrible that is. You know, I feel very selfish too. Yes, I worry about hurting someone, but a lot of it comes back to worrying that if someone gets hurt, then I could get in trouble, or they will hate me, etc. So unfortunately, a lot of my worries are very selfish. I really hate that about myself. It was an unnerving revelation when I finally realized that.

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  6. Well, the bottom line is you left the magazine for someone else despite your OCD, so bravo Sunny!!!! Way to go :)

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    1. Thanks for your encouragement, Janet! Much appreciated. : )

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  7. Thank you Sunny for sharing your struggle here. WoW you accomplished a great feat. Safe hugs.

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