A fun exposure? Yep. Well, sort of. I have a frequent customer account with a large makeup retailer. I was recently offered a free makeover by this retailer. My first thought was that it seemed like a fun idea. Of course, my next thought was of an OCD nature. I know they use clean or new makeup applicators to apply the makeup. However, I also know that some makeup techs will "double-dip" the clean applicator back into the eyeshadow or blush, etc., thereby contaminating the makeup.
I asked Jim what I should do about this. His response? "Well, I think most people would get the makeover and not even think twice about it. I think you should do it; it would be a good exposure." So, I have an appointment tomorrow afternoon for my free makeover. I'm looking forward to it, but I have some anticipatory anxiety about it too. If a previous makeup artist has double-dipped into any of the makeup (and it probably has happened), then there is a chance I could get someone else's germs. I especially worry about getting any type of eye infection. Even worse than getting sick, I worry that I will get contaminated and that I will become dirty and "gross." What does it mean if I am dirty or gross? That I'm filthy and unloveable and that no one would want to be near me.
I think this is only a 30 or a 40 on my SUDS scale, but if I let myself think about it too much, it could climb. I'm making the conscious decision to go to the appointment anyway. I will also have to make an effort to not reassure myself tomorrow by doing mental compulsions during the makeover. Telling myself that I probably won't get sick, or that I won't get germs, or trying to convince myself of the odds that I will be ok and not get dirty, are just mental compulsions that only serve to temporarily bring my anxiety down. I need to accept that I could get sick or dirty, and that even if I do, I will figure out a way to survive it. I must learn to live with the uncertainty. It's the only real way to battle anxiety.
Who would have thought that even playing around with cosmetics could be a challenge? OCD sure is crazy, isn't it?