Why "71º & Sunny?"

I consider 71º to be the perfect temperature. Not too cold and not too hot. I also love perfect sunny days. The vast majority of days are not 71º & Sunny and yet, all days were created by God's hand and they are still gifts, even if they don't fit my ridiculous definition of perfection. My struggle with OCD has at times imprisoned me in an impossible attempt to achieve perfection. I'm now learning to love all kinds of days that don't even come close to 71º & Sunny.

Please leave me a comment below. I really want to know what you are thinking!

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Vacation Exposures

I'm back from Florida! Overall it was a very good trip. Of course, OCD came along in my luggage. Sometimes I get kind of tired of carrying that freeloader around.

Oh do I miss this pool!
I did have some issues with contamination. Some I won, some I didn't. That is ok. I did beat most of the pool exposures I faced. The condominium's pool is lovely and I enjoyed my time in it. Yay for CBT and ERP!!!

One morning, I arrived at the pool and there were several leaves that were floating on top of the water. My first instinct was to be completely disgusted by it. I had to remind myself that they were just leaves. Nothing more. I decided to touch the pool net/skimmer and I used it to pick out most of the vegetation that was floating around. I forced myself to do it and it really wasn't that bad. After I jumped in the pool, I grabbed as many of the leaves as I could by hand and I tossed them onto the deck. The anxiety went away really quickly. After that, it became my mission to keep that pool spotlessly clean. Every time a new leaf blew in, I made a beeline to it to throw it out of the water. Hey, I had worked hard to clean that pool and nothing was going to mess it up!
The "scary" skimmer

I even used the pool bathroom. I do have to admit, these bathrooms were quite clean, so that did make it easier. I have a hard time using pool bathrooms, though, because after you use the restroom, but before you wash your hands, you have to pull your bathing suit back on (I have a one-piece). That means that my bathing suit was now contaminated by my unwashed hands. I pushed through this however, and used the bathroom normally. I have to say that it made my time at the pool so much more pleasant. I didn't have to rush back to the condo to use my own bathroom, or even worse, I didn't have to wait hours to go to the bathroom. In the past, I would have avoided the bathroom and suffered the physical discomfort of not going.

I had one more really big exposure yesterday. I was in the airport waiting for my flight home when I decided to use the restroom. I laid my eyeglasses on top of my carry-on luggage and they slipped off onto the bathroom floor. Again, thankfully, this was a fairly clean bathroom. Fortunately, the glasses did not fall on the floor near the toilet, but on the floor near the door (it was a single person, separate bathroom). I stood there for a moment and debated in my mind about what to do. I finally decided that most non-OCD people would probably just pick up the glasses and use them as if nothing had happened. So . . . that is what I did!! When I arrived home, I did not wash them nor did I take a shower. It was a little difficult, but I just kept telling myself to do it anyway. I'm so glad I did not give in.

How are you doing? I would love to hear about anything that you have fought through recently. And there is nothing too small to celebrate!!

15 comments:

  1. Glad your vacations was a success, Sunny, and it sounds like you did some great exposures. You sure missed a doozy of a storm here. Welcome back to winter!

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    1. It was hard to come back to winter! Thank goodness it's in the 40s here this week - I heard it was in the 20s last week. Sure glad I missed that.

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  2. There are sure a lot of exposures in airports. I actually had my car key in my coat pocket and not only did it fallout and land right next to the toilet but came so close to falling inthe toilet that I nearly had a heart attack. I had to do like you did, pause for a reflective moment to wonder, what do I do now? I used to throw things away at the bat of an eye but now I figure these are good learning experiences . You did so good Sunny and I am so happy for you.

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    1. Ooh, keys in the toilet would not be fun. Glad you only got the big exposure, not the huge one!

      And good for you Sunny on all your exposures. Florida sure sounds nice right now!

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    2. Oh Krystal Lynn - I think I would have completely freaked out about that key! Aaaaggghhh. Oh yes, I totally understand about throwing stuff away. I can't even begin to list all the things I've tossed over the years. I try hard not to do it anymore either. I love your attitude - yes they are good learning experiences. It's hard to see that sometimes though when you're in the middle of anxiety. I do think it's good if we can have a minute to stop and think about it, instead of just instantly reacting.

      It was nice, Ann. At the same time, it was hard too, though. I had several small anxiety attacks the first few days I was there. Changing my schedule and my surroundings is always hard, but I got through it. It's amazing what we can get through if we keep putting one foot in front of the other.

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  3. That's fantastic!!!! So proud of you...sounds like you had a good vacation, on many levels. :-)

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  4. I'm so glad you were able to enjoy your time in Florida! The pool sounds wonderful. I'm really funny about bathrooms at pools--things just seem so wet and damp. Good for you for pushing through the anxiety! And very good with the glasses in the airport bathroom. I've done the same kind of contemplations about what I should do during high anxiety episodes. It actually helps me to stop a minute and think, "What should I do?"

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    1. YES, that is key, Tina. Stopping to think first. In the past, I would be so scared that I would just avoid in any way that I could. I did the same thing with the leaves in the pool - I stood there for a minute and I thought about it and I used that time to convince myself to push forward.

      Oh the pool was glorious! It was heated too, which was awesome. I don't like pool bathrooms for the same reason as you - all that wetness - I don't know - it seems to increase the feeling of contamination for me. As pool bathrooms go, this one was spotless and dry!

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  5. I'm glad you had a great vacation and that ocd didn't take over! Great job on the accidental erps!

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    1. Thanks, Karin! I think life is one giant accidental ERP ha ha!!

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