Why "71º & Sunny?"

I consider 71º to be the perfect temperature. Not too cold and not too hot. I also love perfect sunny days. The vast majority of days are not 71º & Sunny and yet, all days were created by God's hand and they are still gifts, even if they don't fit my ridiculous definition of perfection. My struggle with OCD has at times imprisoned me in an impossible attempt to achieve perfection. I'm now learning to love all kinds of days that don't even come close to 71º & Sunny.

Please leave me a comment below. I really want to know what you are thinking!

Sunday, February 17, 2013

I'm Annoyed

With myself.

Last evening I walked into a public restroom. There was a woman at the sink. She walked away from the sink and left the water running. That's when I just knew. It had to be OCD. She walked into a stall, grabbed some toilet paper, and used the paper to turn off the water faucet. She apologized to me for taking so long. I was in no rush (and frankly even if I had been, I would never had said something to make her feel any pressure) so I said, "No problem." She then used the same toilet paper to open the door to the restroom and she held the door open with her foot while she tossed the toilet paper into the garbage. I could tell she was very embarassed. As she walked out, she laughingly said, "When I was in my 20s this stuff never bothered me, but now that I'm in my 30s . . ." I mentioned something about how it was no big deal and she left. I felt bad for her.

It wasn't until I was driving home later last night that I realized that I had missed an opportunity to reach out to her. I should have said, "Hey, I'm no one to judge. I have OCD, so I totally get it." Maybe that would have started a conversation, maybe not. But now, I'll never know and I'm kicking myself because I could have possibly comforted her and given her some information or support. It kills me because reaching out to others who suffer with mental illness is a passion of mine. Grrrr. Well, I know what I will say the next time something like that happens. And sadly, because of the hideous OCD monster, I know there will be a next time.


18 comments:

  1. Don't be too hard on yourself Sunny. You displayed kindness to her and that is what counts. I know that I am really tense about using public bathrooms so if somebody was nice to me I would appreciate it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's funny, Krystal Lynn, because even after all the progress I've made, I'm still pretty tense in public bathrooms too! Ugh, I know what it's like to be extremely embarrassed by my actions in public, and yet still feel that I need to complete them because I'll "pay the price" later if I don't.

      Delete
  2. Dear one don't beat yourself up about it. God will see to it that you will have other opportunities available to share. You will pick up on them quicker and they will certainly be divine appointments. Hugs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like that, JBR - "divine appointments." Yes, you are right. I will look at it that way.

      Delete
  3. Sunny, please don't be hard on yourself. You showed the woman kindness and patience, and I'm sure that helped her. She may be more used to people staring at her or even laughing at her. Showing her respect was a very important thing that you did. That in itself is reaching out to her. I know you wish you had done more, but perhaps that just wasn't meanto to be this time around. Maybe you gave the woman what she needed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's a really nice way to put it, Tina, thanks. I hope it's all true. I just expected more of myself by now. Oh well, nothing I can do about it now.

      Delete
  4. Don't be hard on yourself. As others have said, you did show kindness as well as understanding. I can bet she left feeling a bit of relief, due to the understanding you showed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can only hope so, Yaya. Thanks for your kind words.

      Delete
  5. I agree with everyone else, Sunny. Don't be so hard on yourself. I think we all can relate (I know I can) to wishing we had said or done something differently after the fact. I think it's often easier to see a situation for what it is after it has already happened, and not while it is happening, if that makes any sense. And while you are not pleased with how you acted, my guess is that woman was very thankful for your understanding. And as you say, there will be a next time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's true, Janet, why is it always easier to come up with the right thing to say AFTER and not during?? But I'm prepared for next time, and I guess that is all that counts right now. Thanks for your support.

      Delete
  6. Hi Sunny,

    Please don't be so hard on yourself. I don't even know you yet, but I find you to be a very warm and compassionate soul. I am deeply touched by your love and concern for your fellow man. Thank you so much for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Linda, aren't you just the sweetest lady! I'm so moved by your kind words. Thank you, it means the world to me. : )

      Delete
  7. Hey Sunny - I can't help but think that your Sunny disposition came through, even if words failed you. I think it's for that very reason that I keep referring to you as Sunny. :) It's okay to be annoyed with yourself. Feel it. Own it. But then let it go. :) Like you said, I'm sure there will be another chance.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah I like that Shana. "Feel it. Own it." Yep, exactly. Great advice and I will do just that and move on. Thanks!

      Delete
  8. I know you would have spoken up if you'd thought of it fast enough...I hate when that happens to me, too! But I think it's great you were so nice and accommodating with her...I'm sure she realized you weren't judging, and even sympathizing. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes, the mind is just a little bit behind! Ugh frustrating. I sure hope she knew I wasn't judging. Although, when I'm in a terrible state of anxiety, I just assume that everyone around me is judging. Oh well. I'll do it better next time, Jean. For sure.

      Delete
  9. Don't be hard on yourself. LIke Jean said, you were very nice to her and did not judge her and that in and of itself is a service.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Elizabeth. I've (pretty much!) let it go at this point. It still bugs me a bit, but I'm trying not to let it.

      Delete