Why "71º & Sunny?"

I consider 71º to be the perfect temperature. Not too cold and not too hot. I also love perfect sunny days. The vast majority of days are not 71º & Sunny and yet, all days were created by God's hand and they are still gifts, even if they don't fit my ridiculous definition of perfection. My struggle with OCD has at times imprisoned me in an impossible attempt to achieve perfection. I'm now learning to love all kinds of days that don't even come close to 71º & Sunny.

Please leave me a comment below. I really want to know what you are thinking!

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Sneezing The Day


Well, so much for sneezing, er, seizing the day! This past week I've been waylaid by a nasty head cold.  Of course, whenever I get ill, it always brings the possibility that I can make others ill as well. This gives my OCD lots to play with in my mind.

The week unfortunately started with my poor hubby coming down with the head cold first. He was so sick that he actually took a day off of work, which almost never happens. That really scared me. Other than my husband's issues with Inflammatory Bowel Disease, he is almost never sick. Which makes sense, I guess, because IBD is caused by an overactive immune system (hence why it's called an autoimmune disorder). Thankfully, he recovered quickly, probably due to that high powered immune system (and some prayer!).

My cold started with a sore throat. I had a meeting the day of the sore throat. I made myself attend the meeting anyway, as I was not really sick, but just experiencing one mild symptom. I did feel somewhat guilty about going to the meeting, though. Afterwards, it hit me like a ton of bricks. The next few days I camped out in bed working my way through a box of tissues. I finally felt quite a bit better by yesterday afternoon. Since I was feeling up to it, my husband and I decided to go out to lunch and then do a little shopping at the mall. I was worried the entire time about being out in public. I was very careful to touch as few things as possible, in order to prevent the spread of germs. Granted, I wasn't coughing or sneezing, and I didn't have a fever. But still, I was a little stuffy and feeling a bit weak. I feel guilty because there have been so many news articles about the deadly flu that is working its way across America, and my neighboring state of Massachusetts has declared a flu emergency. I think I only have a cold and not the flu, but . . .

I'm also supposed to go out to dinner with friends tomorrow night. One of my friends is pregnant. I think I should stay home, but I don't know if that's OCD avoidance or if it's just being a responsible, caring person.

In addition, while walking through the mall yesterday, I accidentally kicked a piece of cardboard that was on the floor. My first instinct was to bend over and pick it up to prevent others from tripping on it. Instead, I kept walking and left it on the floor because I knew that's what I should do as an ERP.

Ugh. Sometimes, I get tired of feeling responsible for everyone else's well being and safety. I realize, of course, that that responsibility is self-imposed by my OCD.  So I push myself to go out and I force myself to leave "hazards" on the ground and I end up feeling like a selfish person. It's just a feeling, not a fact. I hope. Yep, just another day in OCD land.

14 comments:

  1. It's a tough balance sometimes to know when you need to be careful for others and when you're overreacting.

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    1. Oh, how I wish I had a little magic ball that would tell me what to do! It sure would be a lot easier, Kristina.

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  2. "Just a feeling, not a fact."

    I'm stealing that as my motto this week. ;)

    So sorry you've been sick, and glad you're making a nice recovery.

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    1. Steal away, Anna! Actually, I stole it from my psychologist so I'm more than happy to share. : )

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  3. Once when I was a kid, I overheard a lady complain to my mom how people wouldn't tell her they had colds until their kids were busy playing with her kids and it was too late to do anything about it. That family had some extra health issues, so sickness hit extra hard. This plays beautifully in with OCD. But one of my solutions with one family that I know pretty well is to straight out ask. She was pregnant, and later had her babies, and when I was sick with a cold but not all the way down, still up to visiting, I'd ask her, trusting she'd feel free to ask me to stay way if she didn't want to risk the germs. This particular friend has not been worried about my bugs. And at least once when I visited her, she had a cold, too (which wasn't a problem for me since I work in a day care around germs all the time, so I figure I've already been exposed).

    But yeah, it can be hard to decide when to "keep my germs to myself" and hide.

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    1. Abigail, that is EXACTLY the kind of thing that worries me. I know a few different people (my husband included) who should not be around other sick people because of health issues. Plus, I figure just because someone hasn't told me that they have special health issues doesn't mean that they might not have them, so I always work on the assumption that anyone could have extra concerns.

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  4. Praying you are on the mend. I commend you dear one on the strength of battling OCD. Hugs.

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    1. Thanks, JBR, I'll take the prayers and the hugs. : )

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  5. I was going to suggest the same thing as Abigail, in regards to your pregnant friend......just ask. That's what I would do; I don't see it as an OCD thing. Anyway, I hope you are feeling better soon!

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    1. I think I will take that advice, Janet. I was half wondering if I should ask my friend, or if it was OCD to ask her, but I do think that's what I will do. Thanks!

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  6. I hope you are feeling better.

    I usually don't have the energy to battle OCD when I'm sick so good for you!

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    1. Thanks, Elizabeth. Today is my best day so far - just a little stuffiness!

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  7. I'm sorry you've been under the weather, and I hope you continue to feel better.

    Good for you for not picking up the cardboard. I would have had the same doubts about it.

    I agree with Janet and Abigail, to ask your pregnant friend what she thinks about you having been sick. I don't think that's OCD.

    I like "It's just a feeling, not a fact" too. I'm going to try to remember that.

    Take care of youself!

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    1. I am feeling much better, thanks, Tina. Oh, I know you would have struggled with the cardboard too. I remember reading some of your posts where you described the trouble you had with twigs and things in walkways. It is hard to walk way, isn't it?

      Yep, I'm gonna text my pregnant friend tomorrow morning, for sure.

      Take care of yourself too, Tina! : )

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