Why "71º & Sunny?"

I consider 71º to be the perfect temperature. Not too cold and not too hot. I also love perfect sunny days. The vast majority of days are not 71º & Sunny and yet, all days were created by God's hand and they are still gifts, even if they don't fit my ridiculous definition of perfection. My struggle with OCD has at times imprisoned me in an impossible attempt to achieve perfection. I'm now learning to love all kinds of days that don't even come close to 71º & Sunny.

Please leave me a comment below. I really want to know what you are thinking!

Monday, August 27, 2012

Procrastination

I haven't touched a book yet. Yep, I'm a really bad procrastinator. My husband tried to get me to do it yesterday. He reminded me that I had until approximately 6:00 p.m. tonight to touch it before my support group meeting. Ugh. I really want to do it, but every time I start thinking about actually doing it, well . . .

I started bugging my hubby last night for lots of reassurance about stuff. His answer? "You're looking for reassurance and I won't give it to you. Support, yes. Hugs, yes. Love, yes. But no reassurance." I know he's right.

However, I really enjoyed it when later he was a little anxious about something and he asked me for reassurance. Guess what I said back to him? ha ha ha

12 comments:

  1. Hey, Sunny--Believe me, I understand procrastination, and just plain old fear. Whether or not you decide to touch the book before your meeting tonight, you are still a strong person, and you have still overcome a great deal in your battle with OCD.

    I like your photo!

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    1. Aw, thanks so much Tina, I appreciate your sweet words. I do think you described it right - procrastination + fear. Not a great combo, unfortunately! But I think it's a combo that most of us with OCD are pretty familiar with.

      Re: the picture - well, I figure it's one step closer to getting my actual face on my blog! My hubby and I had a little fun with his hat and my camera phone yesterday afternoon. : )

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  2. i found your blog last night, and i am praying for you. my ocd is far worse than anyone i have ever met and am struggling beyond belief. so i am moved by your struggle and thankful for your courage to post. your husband is right more than he may realize, he can not give you reassurance even if he wanted to. that comes only from God's holy spirit....your best friend, who alone can give you the faith or "confident assurance" of what you hope for. as for the book, if you decide you're not ready, don't beat yourself up for lack of confidence. i will support you in prayer either way you choose. pray for me too, if you will, i have a plumbing nightmare, but more than that my life is totaly disfunctional. i believe praying for others with ocd may strengthen you as well. may God bless you and your family.

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    1. I'm so glad you found me!

      Thank you for your prayers. They are MUCH appreciated. I absolutely give all the glory to God for leading me to just the right psychologist and to the right type of therapy (CBT/ERP). I cannot praise Him enough for giving me my life back! There is no way I can put into words what God has done.

      I am so, so very sad to hear about your pain and suffering. I know how bad and disabling OCD can get and I can only imagine your daily struggle. There IS hope for you. Please, don't give up. That is one of the main reasons I started this blog - to remind others that hope exists for them too. Fighting OCD is extremely scary, but living under OCD's grip is just as frightening - don't you think? Have you sought treatment? Is there anyone in your life that you can trust with your struggles, and then, they could hopefully help you fight the OCD?

      I am grateful for your kind support. I agree with you - praying for others does help me too. I think God uses prayers to work in the life of both participants - the one who prays and the receiver of that prayer. I will be praying for you. Please, visit again when you get a chance. I would love the chance to share recovery with you. Blessings.

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  3. Sunny sometimes I look at things I cannot quite do today as "just not yet". if you do not touch the books before your meeting tonight that's okay and it is a case of "just not yet". I laughed when you told us about your husband asking for reassurance-I think you were quite right in your reply :-), good for you.

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    1. You are right - sometimes it's ok to say "just not yet." I do tend to say that to myself a lot though! I try to find a balance between not being too hard on myself and pushing myself forward. It can be difficult to find that line.

      Ha ha ha, yes, my husband and I laughed about that together last night. The thing is, if it had just been a one time question, I definitely would have answered him normally. But, like everyone in the world, he has his little quirks and anxieties too, and it was something we had discussed many, many times. So . . . I had a little fun with it.

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  4. Sunny, your great sense of humor shines through all your posts, and this one is no exception. I also sense the great relationship you have with your husband. So you have humor and love going for you, and that's a lot to be thankful for. You'll touch that book at some point, I just know it!

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    1. Oh, I do have so much to be thankful for, Janet! I'm just thrilled that I'm well enough to see and appreciate that now.

      Humor sure does make things easier. It just seems to make the "hard" things not as hard. With my recovery, I'm glad the sense of humor has come back too.

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  5. I read your previous post a few days ago but didn't know what to tell you. it hits very close to home, so who am i to tell you what to do?? I can understand your hesitation no problem! While doing an exposure so you can report to the group is a good motivator, sometimes it just doesn't work for one reason or another. That's ok! There's always next time, or maybe you need to do some smaller ones first-

    sit and imagine you are doing it and FEEL all the dread and anxiety and see how long it takes to go away, and do that till dread is down to a few minutes before doing it for real. (that's worked for me before)

    just touch a book spine and then sit with it until the dread goes away or til you cn't stand it anymore and have to wash. The plus here is that you only have to wash your hand if it doesn't work, not the whole house.

    Whatever you choose to do or not do is the right choice for you right now!

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    1. Karin, I just came back from support group and I will fill everyone in on that in the next couple of days.

      I do however, want to say that you have plenty of great stuff to say!! Actually, I really, really like your advice. I forget about doing imagined ERPs. It's something that I never seem to remember. Thank you for that.

      I think that because it does hit so close to home for you, that you would have really good advice about it. Sometimes, it's easier to look at someone else's situation and see what needs to be done than to look at our own because we are too close to it. And regardless of where we are in our own recovery, we can still have lots of great insight (which you always seem to have).

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  6. this is a HUGE exposure for you. Take your time.

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