Why "71º & Sunny?"

I consider 71º to be the perfect temperature. Not too cold and not too hot. I also love perfect sunny days. The vast majority of days are not 71º & Sunny and yet, all days were created by God's hand and they are still gifts, even if they don't fit my ridiculous definition of perfection. My struggle with OCD has at times imprisoned me in an impossible attempt to achieve perfection. I'm now learning to love all kinds of days that don't even come close to 71º & Sunny.

Please leave me a comment below. I really want to know what you are thinking!

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Even Dressing Rooms Can Seem Dangerous

Can someone please tell me when it became acceptable for men to accompany their wives/girlfriends into female fitting rooms? This weekend, I went to a large department store to purchase a pair of jeans. While I was in the dressing room, I noticed a man and a woman enter as well. I try really hard to be a non-complaining person. No one likes a whiner, but this is the second time in this past month that I have seen this. I had to say something.

When the couple walked in, I said to them, “You know, this is a women's fitting room.” They responded, “Yeah, we know.” The guy then said, “I’m just gonna wait out here in the hallway area [in front of the changing stalls].” I then responded, “Well, guys don’t usually hang out in this area.” To which they completely blew me off. I then walked out of the dressing room. I was not happy. An employee happened to be walking by, and I told her that there was a guy in the dressing room. She went into the dressing room and told the guy that he had to wait outside because there was a customer complaining (thanks for throwing me under the bus, lady!). I don’t think he was very pleased.

Perhaps you think I’m making too big of a deal about this. Maybe I am. However, I think a woman should feel comfortable in a dressing room without having to worry about some man being in there. Often times, women will leave the stalls to compare clothes with a friend or family member in another stall. Trying clothes on is hard enough without that extra stress. Not only that, but sometimes little girls are in there too. It’s simply not appropriate. So, I said something.

Of course, my OCD mind had a little fun with this. I started to obsess that this man would be angry with me, and follow me to beat me up. Or, even worse, I was afraid that he would be furious with the store employee, and that he might kill her. Yes, I actually panicked about him killing her. I began to doubt whether I made the right decision about complaining. I started planning how I would have to read all the online news (a compulsion, of course) in the next few days to make sure the employee didn’t get murdered. Sigh. I will not, I will not, I will not read online news looking for the fate of this poor employee. Oh, OCD mind - I hate you!

16 comments:

  1. Sunny, I absolutely think you did the right thing to complain. That is totally inappropriate for a man to be back there. Congrats to you for having the courage to speak up!

    OCD just wiggles in anywhere, doesn't it? Good for you for recognizing it. You can avoid the compulsion--I know you can!

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    1. Thanks for your encouragement, Tina. I get frustrated sometimes by the amount of doubt that still follows me around. You are not kidding, OCD has a way of working itself into anything. I am always surprised at how varied the obsessions are, and just how many things can become triggers. I am so glad though, that I don't get nearly as upset about these things as I used to.

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  2. I hate this OCD worry. I once left a bad review for a doctor who prescribed something for me online (what he prescribed was 10 years older than the most current treatment and cost 20 times as much and he wouldn't change it). He lived in Virginia and I'm in Oregon and I was briefly convinced he was going to track me down and kill me for "ruining his career." [in retrospect I'm pretty sure that killing me would have been a bigger black mark on his career, hahaha]

    Needless to say, I'm still alive.

    Keep on keeping away from that compulsion to check!

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    1. Thank you, Ann - yes I have successfully fought the compulsion. It was a bit hard at first, but like all things anxiety, it got easier as time went on.

      Yes, I agree, I think killing you might have put a stain on that doctor's reputation! ha ha It sounds so funny and outlandish now, but I totally get your thought process here and why you were worried. Absolutely been there, done that one.

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  3. I am glad you said something! I did not know this was a new trend! I usually buy my clothes from Land's End online and haven't actually been in a fitting room in.... a really really long time.

    That is really not right for a man to go into the woman's dressing room!

    I am a lot like you with regards to being afraid to complain about things. My OCD fears that I or anyone else involved will be murdered has kept my mouth shut for the most part. I didn't ever actually think that those were OCD fears until I read your post but now I see that, clearly, they are!

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    1. Elizabeth, I'm really surprised to see just how common an OCD fear this is. I didn't realize just how many people struggle with this.

      I didn't know this was a new trend either! Seriously, I don't know what in the world is going on about that. Where people get the idea that this is ok is really beyond me.

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  4. I too think you were right to complain. I've seen this only once a couple of weeks ago and the sales lady told the man to wait outside. I didn't know this was a new trend. While it doesn't bother me anymore, you're right, it would bother little girls and other women. (I'm at the point where if you want to see me in my underwear, it's your loss. Not a pretty sight!!!)

    I'm glad that your ocd thot was successfully ignored!

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    1. Karin, you're so funny! ha ha

      Wow, so it happened with you too? OK, really, what is going on??? I can tell you it sure bothers me. Ugh.

      Thanks for the support. I'm glad I was able to successfully ignore this thought too. Sometimes you win some, sometimes you don't.

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  5. I think it is a trend..and I hate to say it but people are just becoming so inconsiderate. When we moved back here 3 years ago I decided to help out a local clothing store during the holidays because I started missing working but didn't want to commit to anything full time or long term. It was the worst experience of my life. People would throw the clothes they have tried on in a heap and then would walk on them so they'd be filthy. (of course we preferred that to when they'd steal them). One time someone pooped on top of the clothes. I was not there that day - thank goodness, but my friend said she nearly had a heart attack when she went in the room. I saw men go in the dressing rooms all the time and I would tell them nicely that we had chairs outside by the 3-way mirrors for them to sit but men were not allowed in the dressing rooms. I think that is so rude. I'm glad you spoke up.

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    1. Oh, Krystal Lynn, I don't even know what to say! That is horrible, just horrible!

      I really don't understand - what are people thinking? Why would anyone even think things like that are ok? Plus, where are people getting these ideas? I guess I'm clueless.

      I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. Yuck!!

      Thanks for your encouragement.

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  6. Sunny, that salesperson was way out of line telling the male customer that another customer complained. She should have just said, "I'm sorry, sir, our store does not allow men in the women's fitting rooms...there are places you can wait outside," and left it at that.

    I have to admit I struggle with feeling displeasure when I see mothers bring boys with them into the women's restroom. I understand boys under five, but older boys....that's why many places have started including "family" or coed restrooms, and I wish the families would use them.

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    1. I did kind of feel like I had a target placed on my head when the sales lady said that! But I also understand it, though I didn't like it.

      I agree with you Jean, I wish families would make better use of family restrooms, etc. I definitely find it uncomfortable as well when people bring older children of the opposite gender in the rooms. Thankfully, my gym has a strict policy about that, and they even have signs up at the entrance to the locker rooms telling people to use the family rooms if they have older kids.

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  7. No way should a man be in a woman's dressing room, not even if he is 'with' the woman who is using the dressing room!
    I too would have said something to the employee.
    I think you did the right thing .. and I hope your finding peace & rest, as you press through the haunting notions that the man may seek to revenge.
    Blessings to you Sunny :))

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    1. Thank you Deanna, I am pretty much over the obsession at this point and I do feel peace about my decision. I know I'm not supposed to seek reassurance but I will say I'm grateful to hear that everyone agrees with me that I was not wrong to say something. The problem with having OCD for a really long time, is that after a while you doubt your ability to make any good decisions about anything. Sometimes you don't know if you are in OCD land or if you are in "healthy" land, and at times you need other people to show you what is ok.

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    1. Well, thanks Kristina - I appreciate the support!

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