Why "71º & Sunny?"

I consider 71º to be the perfect temperature. Not too cold and not too hot. I also love perfect sunny days. The vast majority of days are not 71º & Sunny and yet, all days were created by God's hand and they are still gifts, even if they don't fit my ridiculous definition of perfection. My struggle with OCD has at times imprisoned me in an impossible attempt to achieve perfection. I'm now learning to love all kinds of days that don't even come close to 71º & Sunny.

Please leave me a comment below. I really want to know what you are thinking!

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Can't Believe It, But . . .

I actually touched a book!! I really have to give a HUGE shout out to my support group! Wow, they were there for me last night.

The Book
Before I left the house, my husband took me down to the basement and said, "Ok, it's time. Get a book." So I grabbed a plastic grocery bag, and while using it like a glove, I picked up a book and placed it, and my "glove" in another shopping bag. I then went to my group with my contaminated package. As soon as I showed up, I told everyone what was in the bag. Immediately, the group leader (who also happens to be a therapist) picked up my bag, took the book out, and held it. He then asked everyone if they would hold it and several fellow group members took turns holding it because they knew it would help me. Amazing. I was really touched. At that point, I had to hold the book - I couldn't disappoint them. So, I took it. You know what? As usual, the anticipatory anxiety was much worse than the reality. I did shed some tears. I'm not sure why. I think it was just all the pent up emotions I was experiencing.

Last night after group, like we do most meeting nights, we went to a local restaurant just to hang out and socialize a bit. I even took the book with me to the restaurant and, after a few tense minutes, placed it on the table next to me while I ate. When I got home, I put the book on the kitchen counter as my husband had suggested, where it is still sitting now.

I realize that this ERP is only partially done, however. I am now comfortable with this book, because so many others held it and told me that it was ok to hold it. The other books on the shelf still seem a bit scary to me. The best thing I can do is to take a different book every day, handle it, and put it on my kitchen counter. I need to keep doing this until the anxiety is gone. That makes me nervous just thinking about it. I'm not sure I will do this right away. I know I will do it though, eventually. The sooner, the better.

So there you have it. I also want to say a GIANT thank you to all of you who commented, and encouraged me, and reminded me to not be too hard on myself if I didn't go through with this ERP. Your constant support has been an incredible gift. I would never, ever, in a million years, have thought I could make true friendships in an online situation, but that is how I think of you all. Good night, dear Friends. God Bless.

17 comments:

  1. Yay! That's so wonderful that your support group did that! Good for them and good for you!

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    1. Thanks, Kristina! Their kindness was a bit overwhelming.

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  2. Yay, Sunny!! Awesome! You did great, and I'm so proud of you! And it sounds like you have a great support group. I'm so glad you have that support. But you did the hard work, and congratulations to you!

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    1. Aw, thank you, Tina! You're right - I had to do the hard work, but I have to admit, it does make it a lot easier when you have a lot of people cheering you on.

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  3. Yea Yipee!!! You did it! You can do this:)

    what a wonderful support group you are a part of.
    Blessings, Deanna

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    1. Oh, they ARE wonderful, Deanna. The best part is sometimes I feel great because I get to help someone else in the group, and then sometimes I feel great because they helped me. Win-win for all of us, I think. : ) Thanks for the encouragement!

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  4. You did it! How wonderful it is, you sound so proud and you very rightly should be! Good for you! :)

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    1. Thanks for your support, Yaya! It is wonderful. So often I have to pinch myself to believe that I've come this far. NEVER thought it would happen for me.

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    1. Oh, is that you in the photo... the woman with the hat blocking her face? Did you just put that picture up?

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    2. Ha ha ha, yes Elizabeth, that is me. I wanted to put a smaller picture on the side, unfortunately I can't get it to shrink in size. That is my hubby's hat. I thought it would be a good step to putting my pic up without actually showing my face yet! Weird, I know. I just put it up like 3 days ago.

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  6. You rock Sunny.
    I know how terribly hard this was for you. One of the very first posts I read of your was when you had the mouse incident and I remember one of your first steps which was to go down to the basement and eat a sandwich. I knew when you accomplished that, that you were a step closer to overcoming the fear and look how far you have come? I am learning so much from you, by the way. Your husband is an amazing partner in this and I am so glad you have the support group behind you too!

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    1. Thanks for the encouragement, Krystal Lynn!! It was hard, but funny enough, in retrospect, I'm like, "what was the big deal??"

      You make a great point though - and it is important for all of us to remember. It all starts with a little step. Keep adding one step in front of the other and the next thing you know, you've actually traveled!

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  7. Well Done You!!!!! I know that was hard but you were brave and you did it...I am so pleased for you. Your group sounds such a positive group to be part of and I like how you support each other in a positive way and also spend some time together afterward.

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    1. Well, thank you! I love that we spend time together socializing as well. I think one of the reasons that was started is because sometimes those of us with anxiety disorders can tend to be isolated and we also avoid socializing with others. Being out with a group of people that know about our issues is an easier and more comforting way to attempt the whole socializing thing.

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  8. Way to go Sunny! You should be very proud of yourself. I knew you could do it :) !!

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    1. Thanks, Janet!!! You are such a great cheerleader!

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