Today, I accompanied my husband into Boston for his bi-monthly infusion. The appointment went very well and my hubby is feeling great. As usual, I did have a few little OCD issues. The first one was when we were crossing the street from the parking garage to the medical center. Instead of pressing the walk button with my finger, I sort of used my knuckle, so I would not contaminate my hands. I did it without even thinking. A lot of compulsions become habit after a while. Once I realized what I did, I should have gone back and touched the crosswalk button. I didn't.
On the plus side, I did use the bathroom at the hospital right away in the morning. This is helpful because it takes the anticipatory anxiety out of using the restroom if I use it immediately, instead of avoiding it until later in the day. Unfortunately, I did visit the restroom for an OCD reason. Let's just say it was a stupid reason, involving compulsive skin picking. Enough said.
One of the more upsetting and confusing issues for me is what to eat in the Hematology and Oncology Medical Center. As a visitor accompanying a patient, I am allowed to bring food in for myself. I favor snacks with peanuts. I also worry obsessively about sending someone with a peanut allergy into anaphylactic shock should they come into contact with my peanuts. When I went to go purchase the food, I was really torn about what to do. Additionally, I was concerned that if I didn't buy something with nuts that I was just giving in to my OCD. My fear ended up winning, though. I just couldn't risk giving someone a problem. After all the back and forth in my mind about the nuts, it turned out that the only place I could buy food was in another building and I decided to skip the snack altogether.
I wore flip-flops again, and wouldn't you know, there was torrential rain. Of course! My feet got very wet on our way back to the car after the infusion. Not only that, but when I was crossing the street, my flip-flop went flying a few feet in front of me and I had to walk with one bare foot on the wet pavement to grab it. My poor husband thought I was going to get hit by a bus because I was concentrating on my footwear and not on the traffic. I put my flip-flop back on though, and did not wash when I got home.
I also had to drive home in the rain, which was a bit difficult and anxiety producing. I did ask my husband a Hit and Run OCD reassurance question, but that was the only real issue. Other than that, the drive was non-eventful.
When I got home, I went down to the basement all by myself and ate my lunch. There was just a little anxiety about that, so obviously forcing myself to go down there all the time is really working.
Lastly, in the early evening, I noticed that the driveway sealing company I called had left an estimate for me in between my screen door and the front door. OK, I admit that I picked up the estimate with plastic sandwich bags. Not so good. However, I touched the screen door handle without bags or without washing my hands afterwards. That was good.
Today was a bit of a mixed bag. Then again, I guess most days are. Onward and forward!