Why "71º & Sunny?"

I consider 71º to be the perfect temperature. Not too cold and not too hot. I also love perfect sunny days. The vast majority of days are not 71º & Sunny and yet, all days were created by God's hand and they are still gifts, even if they don't fit my ridiculous definition of perfection. My struggle with OCD has at times imprisoned me in an impossible attempt to achieve perfection. I'm now learning to love all kinds of days that don't even come close to 71º & Sunny.

Please leave me a comment below. I really want to know what you are thinking!

Friday, April 20, 2012

CBT Is Over. Now What?

Today I had my last official session of CBT. As I was driving to my appointment in Boston, I looked down at the outside temperature gauge on my dashboard and noticed that it was exactly 71º. Not only that, it was bright and sunny. Ah, my Heavenly Father has a great sense of humor! When I saw that it was 71º and sunny, I just knew that God was grinning down at me and saying, “Hey kid, it’s ok, I’ve got your back.” Well, maybe He didn’t use that exact wording.  : )

I have such a mixture of feelings right now. I’m happy, I’m sad, I’m scared, I’m excited. I’m also ready. My psychologist has said over and over again that she was trying to work herself out of a job with me. Her task was to teach me to be my own therapist, so that I could move on with my life. Mission accomplished.

I guess the title of my post is a bit misleading. Yes, my weekly, professional CBT appointments are over, however, I will still be participating in CBT and ERP on my own. Because most of my appointments with my psychologist were on Wednesdays, I’ve put an appointment in my calendar for every Wednesday. Each Wednesday, I will evaluate my previous week’s progress with ERPs. I will also set weekly goals for myself. My husband will go over this weekly plan with me, so that he can help hold me accountable, because, let’s be honest, I still don’t enjoy ERPs!

I will also continue to read about OCD treatment, read anxiety disorder and depression blogs, attend support groups and lectures on anxiety disorders, and even attend events like the OC Foundation Annual Conference, whenever possible. CBT and ERP were lifestyle changing, and I will continue to keep them front and center in my mind. OCD is a chronic mental illness and I need to stay vigilant about my recovery if I do not want to backslide.

So here we go. Recovery, Part II. Will you join me?

12 comments:

  1. I am looking forward to hearing about your recovery, part II. The blogs that I read, like yours give me a lot of hope. And if you have tips for doing ERP on your own for me I will love to hear them.
    So I guess you kind of graduated today,,so congrat's and keep up the good work.

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    1. Thanks Krystal Lynn. Lots of people have given me hope, so it's my awesome privilege if I can do it even a little bit for others.

      I do think doing ERP on your own is very tough. My hats off to people who do that (like Ann of the Beat OCD Blog.) Maybe we can help talk each other through ERPs.

      Funny you mentioned graduation. My husband came home with a sweet card that said Happy Graduation! Thanks for the support!

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  2. Of course I'll join you--I want to hear all about recovery part II.

    Congratulations for completing CBT and ERP (the "formal" part) and for all the hard work you put into it. You should be proud of yourself!

    Your plan to review the past week every Wednesday is great!

    I wouldn't be surprised if God used those exact words! He's got your back.

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    1. I know I can always count on you, Tina! Thanks for the congrats. I am proud, of myself and of all my friends (including fellow bloggers) and loved ones who helped me through it.

      The weekly plan review was my doc's idea. She thought it would be a good way to keep on top of things.

      Ha ha ha, yes, God does indeed have my back.

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  3. Congrats, Sunny! I look forward to following "recovery part 2." Not only is this a milestone for you, you are also giving so many others hope and encouragement to fight their own OCD. Way to go!!

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    1. Thanks for the encouragement, Janet. I really just want people to know that it is possible. I was so convinced it wouldn't happen for me. Thankfully, I was proven wrong!

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  4. Wow! That went fast! Congratulations! I wish you luck as you move forward and use the skills your learned from your therapist!! You can always use your fellow bloggers for support too!

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    1. Thanks Pure O! I sure do appreciate my fellow bloggers and their (your) support. It's so funny (and made me giggle) that it seems fast to you, because I have to tell you that the 2 1/2 years of CBT felt very S-L-O-W to me. In fact, I felt like a slacker for a long time because I know a lot of people do an intensive form of CBT/ERP that only lasts about 12-16 weeks. I've come to learn though, that it's not how long it takes you, but it's the fact that you're doing it at all. And it takes however long it's going to take. I just feel so blessed that I was able to find good care in my area.

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  5. Recovery Part 2 - YES! Congratulations on graduating, I can just hear the graduation song being played now. :) I'm definitely interested in reading your continued success.

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    1. Ha ha ha - yes I believe I hear Pomp & Circumstance (I think that's the name of the song anyway) in the distance. Oh great, now that song's gonna be stuck in my head all night! Seriously though, thanks for caring.

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  6. Good luck! I can't imagine being my own therapist! I don't think I'd be disciplined enough to follow through.

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    1. Thanks, Elizabeth!

      Yes, lack of discipline is my fear as well. However, I just couldn't justify going to therapy anymore. I believe I've learned what I needed to, and I have terrific support at home. I will do it alone for as long as I can. If I need to go back, I certainly will not hesitate to do so. In fact, I totally expect I will need to again sometime in the future. It might not be until next year, or it might not be until the next decade. In any case, it's ok. I really have to remember to take this one day at a time.

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