Why "71º & Sunny?"

I consider 71º to be the perfect temperature. Not too cold and not too hot. I also love perfect sunny days. The vast majority of days are not 71º & Sunny and yet, all days were created by God's hand and they are still gifts, even if they don't fit my ridiculous definition of perfection. My struggle with OCD has at times imprisoned me in an impossible attempt to achieve perfection. I'm now learning to love all kinds of days that don't even come close to 71º & Sunny.

Please leave me a comment below. I really want to know what you are thinking!

Monday, February 13, 2012

Score - Me: 10 OCD: 1

I'm flying home in a few hours. I'm so thankful to the Lord for giving me this past week in Florida. I had a great time and it was terrific distraction for what was going on at home. In fact, it was only last night that it really hit me that I was going to have to deal with the basement soon. When I started to think about it, I got such a surge of adrenaline through my body that I actually shivered. However, I made a decision to be mindful and told myself that tomorrow was another day and that I should enjoy the rest of my time here, and believe it or not, I was able to do just that. In the past I would never have been able to do that and it really surprises me now. I think it is a result of practice. I've been working on these concepts for a few years and I believe that my body has started to adjust to it and I seem to have much more control over my reactions than I used to.  Now, when I get home at the end of the day and have to actually step into the basement, well, that's another story.

I have struggled with random bouts of free-floating anxiety. I totally hate this as it is quite unnerving. Each time it occurred I kept telling myself it was just a feeling and that I should not give it any thought, and soon enough, it went away.

I've had some big victories this week. I swam in a pool for the first time in a dozen years!! In fact, I had so much fun that I did it three days in a row. I re-used my bath towels for two days in a row (not that I've never done that before, but it's usually quite uncomfortable for me) and it didn't bother me too much. I made a conscious decision not to check my bed for bed bugs! I wore flip-flops all week and didn't even check my feet at the end of the day (I've been working on this one for a few years - finally true success). A relative of mine grabbed the garbage, then grabbed the door handle, and I forced myself to use the door handle later and not wash my hands. I re-used my hat this week several times without washing it. I'm sure there were some other things, I just can't remember them all.

If you are reading this and feel like you could never get to this point of recovery, I want to stress to you that this did not happen overnight. I have been in cognitive behavioral therapy for 2 1/2 years. It takes time for your mind and your body to adjust. The trick is to keep going at it, and you will have your successes too. The Bible says that living for God is a marathon and not a sprint. I'd like to steal that thought and say that it's true for healing from OCD as well. God Bless!

8 comments:

  1. Sunny, Yay! Wonderful! You sound so calm and so confident--good for you. Congrats on being able to enjoy the past week. And though you may have anxiety when you get home, you know and I know and all your readers know that you will do just fine with the basement. You have worked so hard and gained so many skills. You will deal with the anxiety.

    And you gave a good reminder to us all that all the good stuff didn't happen overnight. Dealing with OCD is HARD, and can be so frustrating. You are a fine example of someone who kept on going despite the difficulty and frustration.

    Traveling mercies to you and get home safe! And let us know how things go!

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    1. Hi Tina. Thank you, I did get home safely. Very tough evening. I'll write about it tomorrow - too wiped out to even think about it. Ugh.

      You're not kidding when you say OCD is hard and frustrating. But if it was easy, I guess we wouldn't be so excited about our triumphs and they wouldn't be as meaningful.

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  2. You did really well! I hope one day I can get to that point in a hotel! They are so stressful for me and I not only have to check every square inch of the bed for bugs but also for blood and other contaminents.

    I'm glad you swam in the pool and had a nice trip!

    Yay!
    Elizabeth-

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    1. Thanks for the cheers, Elizabeth! It was a little easier for me this time because I did not stay in a hotel, but in a very nice, rented condo. Of course, lots of people still stay there, but it does not have as much traffic as a regular hotel and other relatives were staying there (and in fact were there days before I arrived). I was able to talk myself out of the bed bug check. If you keep chipping away at your compulsions, you will definitely get there too.

      I'm glad I swam in the pool too. It ended up being my favorite part of the trip! Who knew?

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  3. I can practically hear the lilt in your voice when reading your post......I am so glad you are seeing all of your hard work pay off and are sharing your experiences....no doubt you are inspiring a lot of people, myself included!

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    1. I really appreciate the encouragement, Janet. I definitely was feeling on top of the world this morning when I posted. Not quite so much now, but hey, that's for tomorrow's post! I find reading about other's experiences inspirational. I figure if they can deal with their struggles, then maybe I can as well.

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  4. Sunny, SO HAPPY FOR YOU!! That is incredible progress and I am just so excited for you! *happy dance!*

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    1. Ha ha, thanks Anxious Gal! I like the happy dance. : )

      Sometimes, I have a hard time believing that I'm at this point, but I'm just going to enjoy it.

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