Why "71º & Sunny?"

I consider 71º to be the perfect temperature. Not too cold and not too hot. I also love perfect sunny days. The vast majority of days are not 71º & Sunny and yet, all days were created by God's hand and they are still gifts, even if they don't fit my ridiculous definition of perfection. My struggle with OCD has at times imprisoned me in an impossible attempt to achieve perfection. I'm now learning to love all kinds of days that don't even come close to 71º & Sunny.

Please leave me a comment below. I really want to know what you are thinking!

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Compulsive Skin Picking - The Fight Goes On

Last night was my first real concerted attempt at fighting CSP. I received the two small gel balls and the minute sand timer in the mail yesterday. I've decided to give HRT a solid try. I'm happy to report that I was able to hold off picking for at least four to five hours. It was very difficult though. It's unbelievable how often I think about picking. Finally, around midnight, I gave in. I didn't go too crazy though. I held myself back some.

One thing that really surprised me was the reaction I had the other day when I fought the CSP. I hadn't received the gel balls in the mail yet. I kept picking at a spot on my scalp. I worry so much that I will get a bald spot from this. To stop myself from picking further, I put a little bit of antibiotic ointment on the spot. I knew that I would not want to touch it at that point and get the ointment all over my fingers. It did stop me from picking at it. The weird thing is that I started breathing hard and I was physically struggling to the point that my husband noticed and asked me if I was ok. I didn't even realize I was struggling until he pointed it out. Once I became aware of what was happening and that it was only because I was fighting the picking, I calmed down pretty quickly. It was one of the oddest experiences I have ever had in battling my anxiety disorders. I can only surmise that it was a kind of withdrawal symptom. Not fun. It was very eye opening to me and it cemented the fact that this is a very real problem that I have to deal with. Now.

6 comments:

  1. It sounds like you're doing good work. I expect that each time you hold off on picking, the anxiety will be a little less.

    How do you use the timer? Do you squeeze the balls for a minute and then reassess how you feel? I am going to have to check into doing something like this. Thank you for telling us about it!

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    1. Hey Tina! Yes, I hold the balls pretty tightly for one minute and let go and then see what my urge is at that point. So far, the urge seems to disappear after the one minute. Then some time later it comes back again. Yes, I'm hoping the more I do it the less strong the anxiety/urge will be. I guess the key is making sure you do it for at least a full minute. I double checked my sand timer with my microwave timer to make sure it was accurate.

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  2. Congradulations on working on getting rid of this! If it is anything like stopping biting your fingernails i'd have a hard time with it! It sounds like the treatment is easy to impliment and you see results soon after. Good luck with it!!

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    1. Thanks for your encouragement Karin! I did not do so well today. I was pretty upset about a stupid obsession I had swimming around in my mind and I just could not put the energy into fighting the CSP. Oh well, tomorrow is another day.

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  3. Good for you for moving forward with the HRT. I look forward to reading of your success..........one day at a time, that's all we can do!

    I've been having trouble commenting on Blogger through Wordpress....this has happened before...hopefully will resolve.

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    1. Thank you Janet. You are encouraging as always! It's weird, sometimes I have trouble commenting on Wordpress too and then it clears up within a day or two. Ah technology, it's great, when it works.

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