I am now past the terrifying Christmas exposure of the candles. I'm not going to sugarcoat it - it was terribly miserable at first, but, as time wore on, I realized that I could handle this exposure just like I've handled every other one. Once again, the anticipatory anxiety was the true problem.
A couple of my worst fears even came true during this exposure, and yet, the world did not come to a crashing halt. Someone did accidentally knock over one of the candles, but it went out on its own on the way down. Phew - so it didn't burn down the building! Also, a child came over to help me blow out the candles, and she blew so hard on it that the wax flew back onto her and burned her hand. I thought I was going to die! I immediately sent her to the bathroom to put her hand under cold water and I went to find her mom. When I told the mom, she looked at me and said, "Uh, I think she's fine. If you turn around, you will see that she's jumping around and laughing, so I don't think it's a problem." Alrighty then. Another crisis averted.
Confession time - I did not hand out the glass candle holders as gifts. I was too afraid of the chipped glass hurting anyone (this is a harm obsession). In fact, I threw them all out (which was a compulsive act - a harm compulsion - because I didn't want to hurt anyone). I know, it's an awful waste of money. I do struggle with guilt about that, but fear always beats out guilt. Let's just say this incident caused a little, um, "domestic tiff" between myself and my husband, who had previously forbidden me from throwing them out. Ooops. he he
Meanwhile, I had an incredibly joyful Christmas with my family. I thank you so much for all of your prayers. Yes, OCD was still my companion, but it did not rule the day. We also got nailed with our first real winter storm (approximately 6 inches or so) on Thursday. Thought you might like to see a pic of that.
|Sort of a White Christmas - just a couple of days late!|