So I see my therapist tomorrow. I'm going to have to admit that I've made absolutely no progress on the compulsive skin picking. Ugh. On one hand I want to get better, but on the other, well, not so much. Which is pretty stupid because my right upper arm is completely scarred. Unfortunately my face is also getting marked as well. I had to put tons of concealer on my nose on Sunday to hide the evidence when I was singing on stage during worship services at church (under very bright lights, I might add). I was pretty self conscious about it all morning. Sometimes I feel like a fraud, especially around other believers. Some of my close Christian friends do know about my illness. My pastor also knows too. Everyone I've told has been wonderful about it. However, I can't help but feel like a fake at times. I have to remember though, that following Jesus just means I've accepted His forgiveness, it doesn't mean I'm expected to be perfect. I wonder if people who don't know about the OCD look at me and think I'm all put together. Sigh. I'm very frustrated with myself right now.
Why "71º & Sunny?"
I consider 71º to be the perfect temperature. Not too cold and not too hot. I also love perfect sunny days. The vast majority of days are not 71º & Sunny and yet, all days were created by God's hand and they are still gifts, even if they don't fit my ridiculous definition of perfection. My struggle with OCD has at times imprisoned me in an impossible attempt to achieve perfection. I'm now learning to love all kinds of days that don't even come close to 71º & Sunny.
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