Why "71º & Sunny?"

I consider 71º to be the perfect temperature. Not too cold and not too hot. I also love perfect sunny days. The vast majority of days are not 71º & Sunny and yet, all days were created by God's hand and they are still gifts, even if they don't fit my ridiculous definition of perfection. My struggle with OCD has at times imprisoned me in an impossible attempt to achieve perfection. I'm now learning to love all kinds of days that don't even come close to 71º & Sunny.

Please leave me a comment below. I really want to know what you are thinking!

Saturday, November 26, 2011

The Thanksgiving Incident

Hope you had a great Thanksgiving. I did, even in spite of the OCD shadow that seems to follow me everywhere. I did hug my visitor right away. Of course, random bed bug thoughts have occurred throughout this visit, but they did not have much of a hold on me. There were also many other sporadic little things that bothered me as well. Like watching a family member grab the garbage can to move it, and then not wash her hands before she continued cooking. Aaaaaagh. And of course, my family decided to leave the garbage can in the middle of the kitchen as it made it easier to toss things in while preparing massive quantities of food. It was like a huge piece of kryptonite strategically placed to give us the most opportunities to bump into it. And really, what is up with my parents-in-law's garbage can? It is one of those old fashioned wooden things where you have to lift up the top to throw things out. So you have to touch it every time. Needless to say, I let the garbage accumulate on the counter so someone else had to throw it out!

Now to the "incident." One of my greatest fears is that I will hurt someone accidentally through my negligence and carelessness. In my mind, I am always negligent and careless. Well, it happened. At one of these Thanksgiving soirees, I was wearing 3 inch heels. I backed up and accidentally stepped on a young woman's bare foot, totally cutting her big toe. I wanted to die. My heart instantly launched in my throat and that terrible panic gripped my stomach like a vise. I tried to help her clean up the blood and stuff, but by the time I finished washing my hands to help her, other family members had already bandaged her up. I apologized profusely and waited for people to get angry with me. Well, it didn't happen. She was very gracious and told me she was fine. Don't get me wrong, I still feel terrible about it. I'm still waiting to hear that she got a terrible life threatening infection from it, or that she lost her toe to gangrene. (Yes, I even sort of jokingly warned her about gangrene, though I wasn't really, totally joking!) I'm tempted to call her to make sure she is ok. I won't do that. That would just be giving in to my OCD. Hard as it is, I'm going to live with the uncertainty of not knowing if she is ok. If something does go wrong, I'm sure I'll hear about it. In the meantime, I am surprised to learn that my world has not fallen apart even though this happened. Interesting.

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