Why "71º & Sunny?"

I consider 71º to be the perfect temperature. Not too cold and not too hot. I also love perfect sunny days. The vast majority of days are not 71º & Sunny and yet, all days were created by God's hand and they are still gifts, even if they don't fit my ridiculous definition of perfection. My struggle with OCD has at times imprisoned me in an impossible attempt to achieve perfection. I'm now learning to love all kinds of days that don't even come close to 71º & Sunny.

Please leave me a comment below. I really want to know what you are thinking!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

More Is Not Merrier When It Comes To Bed Bugs

Someone I really love is coming to stay with me over the Thanksgiving holiday. On one hand I can't wait to see them. On the other hand I am always quite anxious when they come over. You see I am deathly afraid of bed bugs. This person lives in a large city where there is a very large bed bug problem. I am so scared that they will be bringing bugs with them to my house. Then my house will get infested, then I will have to spend thousands of dollars to rid my house of these horrible bugs, then I will accidentally pass them on to friends of mine, they I will have to humiliate myself to my friends and admit the bed bugs came from my house, and then they will also have to spend thousands of dollars to clear their house out, and then all my friends will hate me because of this. I know, it sounds crazy, but this is the logic of OCD. Let's just say my thinking is filled with what are called cognitive distortions - catastrophizing, all or nothing thinking, emotional reasoning, etc.

My visitor knows about my OCD and my fears, though I try not to make too big of an issue with them about it. There have been times, though, when I have put off hugging this person until after they had a shower or a change of clothes later on because of my fear of these stupid bugs. I have no idea if this was obvious or not. But if it was obvious that I was avoiding giving a hug, it must have been hurtful.

I hate the way I act sometimes because of my OCD. I hate that I put my anxiety before the feelings of others sometimes, especially with people that I love so dearly. I do know though that the best way to deal with this is head on. So I'm going to hug my visitor right away tomorrow night when I first see them. It will take the sting out of my anxiety right away, and let them know that I care.

I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!


  1. Oh, I have this one, too!!! One of my friends lives with a traveling salesman boyfriend and I'm so scared of her. Not to mention my mom's forays into used couches. Guess it's excellent exposure, right?!

  2. Hi Ann. Yes, you're right - I guess the positive way to look at this is to say "what a great exposure" - at least that's what my psychologist keeps telling me! Though I'm not always sure I believe her. ha ha :)

  3. I am happy to have found your blog and really like what you have to say. You do a great job of getting across the feelings of those with OCD. In this post you describe exactly how I know my son has felt many times: "I hate that I put my anxiety before the feelings of others sometimes, especially with people that I love so dearly." Keep up the good work, and I'll keep reading!
    I have to comment as anonymous as Blogger is not currently allowing me to post with my wordpress info (this seems to happen sometimes but usually fixes itself).My blog is: www.ocdtalk.wordpress.com if you'd like to check it out.

  4. Thanks so much for the encouragement. I really appreciate it. I'm sure your son really appreciates your support as well. I could not have regained the level of health that I have without my family's love and support, I am sure of that.

  5. I also wanted to say that I thought I recognized your blog address as I've already been there! It's really impressive to see a parent so involved and informed. I actually tried to leave a comment on your blog today, but I'm not sure it got posted properly. I really loved your list of all the people and things you were grateful for.