I went to the dentist today. I have a HUGE dental phobia. In fact, I haven't been for a cleaning for over a year because I'm so afraid of going. Gross, I know. That's the thing about OCD. You worry about your phobia (going to the dentist) and then worry about the opposite of your phobia (not going to the dentist and then losing all of your teeth). Very often I feel stuck not knowing which way to turn as both choices seem like bad options. The problem with an avoidance compulsion (and avoiding going to the dentist is definitely a compulsive act for me) is that you can't avoid stuff forever. Something will almost always eventually force you into facing up to your fear - like the possibility of losing your teeth. So I guess it's better to just face up and do it. But it's so hard and so incredibly frightening. In fact, the only reason I even went today is because my sweet husband made me call and set up the appointment. The really neat part is that he had to have a cleaning too, and it turned out that his appointment was the one scheduled just before mine. So he was there at the dentist's office waiting for me when I arrived and he even went in to the office with me until I calmed down enough for him to leave. I'm so thankful to the Lord for that - what a gift. The funny thing is that the appointment didn't even end up being that difficult. It was just the anticipatory anxiety that got to me more than anything. That is usually the case. You'd think that I would have learned that by now.
Why "71º & Sunny?"
I consider 71º to be the perfect temperature. Not too cold and not too hot. I also love perfect sunny days. The vast majority of days are not 71º & Sunny and yet, all days were created by God's hand and they are still gifts, even if they don't fit my ridiculous definition of perfection. My struggle with OCD has at times imprisoned me in an impossible attempt to achieve perfection. I'm now learning to love all kinds of days that don't even come close to 71º & Sunny.
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